Oh my little child when will you stop?

This weekend I went to Santa Barbara to see David again.What a group of interesting people I met in Santa Barbara. They were from many walks of life gathered in a quaint little house for the same purpose. To over come the ego and find everlasting peace. I could have spent days listening to these amazing beings talk about how they came to be here.

I walked away from Santa Barbara with the confirmation that there are many more like me! It’s certainly nice to be in the company of others who are stuck in between two worlds. Ok may be stuck is not the right word. Others who go back and forth from this earthly life consumed with fear and ego to the world of just being in the ever lasting NOW.

Growing up in an island I was always drawn to the ocean. I loved the ocean. I was curious about it. I admired its beauty. I wanted to play in it and wanted to be a part of it. I never expected anything from the ocean or wanted it to change for me. I just LOVED it just the way it is. I used to sit by the ocean stare at it for hours. I tried to imagine how vast the ocean is. I imagined it to be the greatest force in the world and I felt so small compared to it. I wanted to fly across the world so I could see the whole ocean at once. The wish was granted when I literally flew around the world going from California to England to Sri Lanka then to Philippines and back to California. It sure was a great big ocean. Then I started comparing this great ocean to the cosmos and to the Universe. This great ocean of mine that I love so dearly felt like a speck of dust compared to the ever growing universe.

These days I close my eyes and try to imagine the vastness of our universe. I take an imaginary flight across the universe. I am overwhelmed by its vastness! I feel so insignificant! I like that feeling. My little problems feel even more insignificant. All the worries and fears of this earthly life seem to dissolve effortlessly as I contemplate the universe (or universes). The great admiration and the unconditional love I’ve always felt for the ocean, well I feel that love expanding to the whole universe. I feel so much joy being part of it. I am full of gratitude for being able to play in it. I feel no fear and I feel no need to change this great universe to my preference. I am in love with this universe just the way it is. I experience the NOW.

I wish to live my life with that joy in my heart all the time. But then my little ego, that sneaky little bastard comes to the surface with all sorts of problems! I am exhausted by its problems and complaints. Yet I feel this strong attachment to it. Like if it was my own child. Whenever it throws a tantrum I give it my undivided attention. At times I'm able to laugh at her problems but sometimes her problems seem all too real to ignore. That's when I get cought up in this child's earthly needs. I leave my joyful loving universe to tend to its needs. But I'm tired. Oh my little child when will you stop?

An Enlightened Encounter

I feel so lucky to have met three enlightened beings in my life. One of them was last night. I wanted to write about that encounter while it was still fresh in my mind.

A friend of ours invited us to a Course In Miracles gathering at his place. Even though I think the course itself is probably a gem I have felt in the past that the people who practice it tend to do a lot of preaching. I have been told that ACIM is the fastest, easiest and the most direct way towards enlightenment. I don’t like to think one particular way is better or faster than the other. All teachings from all these great teachers are stepping stones to bring you closer to your inner truth. So I wasn’t all that interested in going to this meeting at first.

I am so glad I did!

It was a small gathering. A man came in to the room and started speaking. I don’t think he came in with much of a plan for the meeting. He just let it flow. Once he started speaking I could feel the love that was surrounding him. This man was totally at peace with himself and the world around him. He had no judgments whatsoever in his eyes. He felt no need to convince no one of his truth. Even when he answered questions it wasn’t as if he was trying to teach us anything. It just felt like he was talking to an old friend. He was truly there to help in whichever way he could without expecting anything back.

As I was listening to him I felt something in me opening up. I felt a very comforting feeling. You know the feeling you feel on a rainy day when your house is all clean and you have no chores or no work, you have no place to be and you are well rested. So you curl up on your bed or the  couch with a nice hot cup of tea to read your favorite book. Your mind is clear, you have no worries and for the most part you in the moment with out thinking about the past or the future. That was the feeling I felt through most of the meeting.

I started seeing myself in my mind. Almost like I was looking at myself as if I was my own daughter and truly seeing this little girl for who she was. I started having revelations about myself and the world around me. I started seeing how some parts of my earthly life are totally ego driven. It was like the part of me that was enlightened, or my higher self was brought to the surface by this man’s presence and it was showing me of my ego self. Of course I've been aware of my ego and been on this path of dissolving it for many years. But last night I saw the tiniest of tiniest aspects of my ego. All this was done with so much love, trust and with no judgment that there was no resistance from me.

I also felt this sudden urge to be of service. His state of being was definitely contagious!

His name is David Hoffmeister. He said he had an online presence and that there are hundreds of videos and articles by him for free on the net. I plan to find them and I hope you do too. His suggested donation for the gathering was $25 but if you couldn’t afford it he still wanted you to come. He gives out his phone # on his website and on facebook. He truly seems to be a man who is here to serve. So find him on the net. See if his teaching (I use that word loosely because I didn’t feel like he was there to teach) resonate with you. I highly recommend going to see David in person to feel his true essence.


I’ve met many spiritual teachers, monks, philosophers and coaches. Like I said there were only three beings in my entire life I met in person I felt were truly awakened. One was a Sri Lankan monk, the other was Eckhart Tolle. David is the third. He is also the most accessible in person.


Oh one more thing the guy likes to sing and apparently The Holy spirit raps through him. I so wanted to see him rap but we ran out of time at the end of the night because the discussion kept going on and on. May be I’ll find a youtube video of that. If you do please send it to me.


I’m so grateful for David, grateful for my friends who hosted him and opened their house to us, grateful for the A Course In Miracles that help David through his journey and so grateful I went to this little gathering.


With love
Gayanee

If you are searching… Please Stop!

If you go looking for a friend, you're going to find they're very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere. - Zig Ziglar

When I chased after money, I never had enough. When I got my life on purpose and focused on giving of myself and everything that arrived into my life, then I was prosperous. - Wayne Dyer

One must simply stop searching for the light, and become the glow for others to follow. - Christopher Seymour

Be the change you want to see in the world. - Mahatma Gandhi

Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda

Searching will only get you more of searching.

Longing, wanting, waiting, trying, chasing and needing will not get you what you are looking for. Becoming what you desire will. There is only one law in the universe. You attract what you already are. So stop searching. Be what it is that you desire.

I’m going to end this short note with one of my favorite quotes of all time.

I searched and waited and when no enlightenment happened,

I knew I was That!

~ Darina Stoyanova ~

xox

with love

Gayanee

Welcome

Welcome to living the truth.

This blog is an attempt from me to live openly and freely. An attempt to be completely honest and truthful with myself and with the world around me. To share my experiences, my innermost thoughts and feelings freely with the world. You may be able to relate to me or you may think I’m outrageous and crazy for my thoughts and my way of living. Whatever is your opinion please feel free to speak out.

Weather you agree or disagree with me makes no difference. My hope is that reading my words awakens something inside of you and it encourages you to live YOUR truth. Not what the society is telling you or what your culture, your parents, or the media is telling you.

I'm not a writer and English is not even my first language. So I say let's not waste time correcting my grammar or spelling and focus more on the content. Words and languages are so limiting when it comes to infinity. So don't get hung up on words too much. I hope when you read my blog you connect to it's energy -my energy and we be part of each others eternal journey for a brief moment.

We are all on our path towards enlightenment. And we all have our own perfect path that we’ve chosen to take. No one path is right or wrong. No one religion is the only way towards salvation. No one spiritual practice is going to awaken everyone. These are all stepping stones. One takes you to another and you learn more. There will be many teachers and  many many lessons.  One lesson will lead you to the other, one teaching will lead to another, one revelation will lead to another and one question will lead to another. Till one day there are no more questions, no more revelations and no more lessons. That day all the teachings will become one and you will become one with the teachings.

I'm still on my journey towards enlightenment. I choose to walk my path openly in the public hoping that my experiences, thoughts and our discussions here will be another stepping stone to some one some day.

With love,
Gayanee